I am exhausted. I started a new job about a month ago. It’s alright. It’s a job in the field I know all too well so same shit, different establishment. One would assume my body would be accustomed to it. It isn’t. My mind can wrap around the nonsense. It comes with the territory.
Thanksgiving went well. My Ma prepares all of the food that we take to my sister-in-law’s family house. Helping my Ma is like taking a sucker from a baby. She likes to do it herself. I am her mule though, loading all of the heavy items, reaching for decorations she can not reach, and any other grunt work she needs to be done. I volunteer.
The day following Thanksgiving my things arrived at Misters. This means unpacking while simultaneously decorating for Christmas. And adjusting to my new schedule. The madness. It’s been a while since I’ve felt cynical. Is this holiday exhaustion? My shopping hasn’t even begun!! Priorities such as bills have ruined the excitement of gift-giving. Well, gift purchasing.
My daughter text today, guess who’s birthday is Sunday?!? Mine, I replied. Are you excited?, she ask. It’s just another day, I assure her. Yeah, but it‘s your day, she reminds me. I did not reply. 43, I’ll be in six days and what is there is be excited about? I feel my age today and there is nothing exciting about it!! I creek when I stand up. I pop when I bend. There’s not even a word to describe the sound I make while doing things 😩!! #life
I am celebrating the fact I no longer have a cycle, however, my hormones are a lingering reminder of times when. Yesterday and today would be the days. I had a hysterectomy about three months ago. All went swimmingly. Appreciative of the doctors for their attention to detail. My healing went well and my scaring, minimal. My ovaries remain intact so there’s that.
I declared last Christmas, no more bad holidays! I realize I am the common denominator. Ouch. I can imagine so if previous holidays I felt like this. Meh.
I don’t want to feel out of sorts. I don’t like having consecutive days of maladaptive moods. I rather nothingness over gritty, pessimistic, cynicism. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could write our mood on a piece of paper and offer it to the universe and then … bam! Be given it? I wouldn’t choose bubbly everyday. I hope reading this didn’t bum any of you out. In fact, thank you for listening. It’s important to feel heard on days of venting.
I admit. I came home today, the day after writing this post, to a box on my porch. I didn’t order anything yet I knew the shipper so I excitedly torn into it only to ruin a surprise gift from Mister 🙃 He wasn’t as thrilled as I. I assured him once I realized it wasn’t the package I thought it was (the specific items I asked for), I closed the box without further investigating. Oops! It made my day🤓! Now pushing through the rest of this week doesn’t seem as daunting. It gives me the motivation to finish unpacking and rearranging the house so when I do get to open the packages, I have a clean space waiting for the items to go. I’m off to handle my business.
How well do you handle challenging days? Do surprises motivate you?? Let’s chat!