Yesterday was departure day and…
The photography featured in this post is strictly prohibited from use.
For our last night we pulled together as a team and gathered most everything, separated things into individual piles so things found there way home with the correct owner and just like that, it was morning. I must say this time I realized a few things.
A. I prepare too much food.
B. There is a such thing as too many bags.
C. Teens are still cool without there heads tucked into phone screens.
D. If I come back to this location, which I won’t, request the site that’s at the bottom of the bathroom hill.
E. A three bedroom tent that pops up easy doesn’t make it easy to get back in it’s portable bag with wheels.
F. I am great with empowering speeches but the action that is supposed to follow the speech…what’s that?
G. It is impossible to make four people happy. You can accommodate in every way you imagine but being that we cannot be another, we will miss something.
H. I don’t know how to relax.
I. My full out camping days are over. I may venture on some solo trips but as far as preparing for, maintaining the campsite, setting up and breaking down – no more. It’s too much to be considered a vacation.
I learned a lot this trip and accept it for what it is. I will continue to do the things that once brought me immense joy as an experiment phase before I venture into more thrilling, new adventures.
I found it
impossible difficult to focus my attention on what it was I wanted to let go of but…I was able to work through other things. For the first time ever I actually saw myself as a worker ant. I am non-stop. When I would recognize my “grouping” of objects, I would verbally tell myself to sit and a few times I would be in a half-sitting position before I’d bounce up (never sitting) to put one last thing where the “kitchen” stuff goes. Yes, at a campsite.
Overall things within myself were hectic. I couldn’t shut down mom mode, I was organizing, preparing for…and, once again, trying force things in my life. My way. Force things to be done my way because it is the logical way BUT here’s the thing, my way isn’t necessarily the right way nor the only way. That is what I took away from this mini-vacay and so it goes, no vacay at all because I was still there trying to anticipate what may happen instead of just allowing things to be. Am I happy this happened? Joyed actually because it gives me a specific place to focus. The exact place I have said all year deserves my attention and that is the present. So I shall continue to just be…well, work to be anyways. I will get there. With persistence, I will arrive.