Drowning, Differently

Do Different!

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results. And so…, today, I did different. Not – I wanted to do different but I DID differently.

Having a morning routine is something I have wanted to give a go for about a year now and this morning, I had a tech-free morning that included writing my thoughts, indexing my day, and meditating. How amazing is that?!?!

Last night we had a total solar eclipse and it was a new moon. Tapping into my “energy life”, I have researched the energy of the moon. From as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to the night sky. The moon and stars heal my being like the ocean does for some. Give me a blanket, surrounded by trees and a sky lit with the moon and stars and I am a happy girl. I figure there has to be more to it than that and so I Googled.

I have kept pretty quiet about my findings because I’m not particularly looking for opinions on the matter but I must say, me and the moon…we are close pals. I have now done a full moon ritual (last month) and last night I did my first new moon ritual. No, it isn’t witchcraft. It involves setting intentions and releasing things that no longer serve you – oh, and using sage to clear the air.

I drop that tidbit of info because it is something new I am doing and what’s the point in introducing new into my life if my routines and daily habits remain the same?? I’ll answer that for you – there is no point!!

Whatever it is that you do or believe or…yeah, whatever you do…it is the intention behind what you are doing and the follow up behind the intention that makes the difference. And allow you to claim your sanity as a bonus.

Today felt significantly lighter for me. I realize I have been quiet lately and I even skipped out on S.Y.K. this week, my apologies. To ease any worries, it is because I am processing a ton of…well, bullshit. Bullshit that I do not have a clue of what exactly it is I am dealing with. This phase has been difficult but I am trying my damnedest to respond kindly to myself – even if all that is, is tears, lots and lots of tears. I thought I was emerging but I am afraid I am barely hanging on some days. I am experiencing changes that I didn’t prepare for and even more weird, I don’t even know what changes I am talking about BUT I do know some things are changing within me and around me.

I know this too shall pass and I suppose it is the immediate gratification receptors that want it to pass now but I also know good things take time. I feel as though this transition began in 2017 and I am working diligently for things to smooth out. All I have is time. As much as I know all of this, I feel as though I am drowning, differently.

Published a day after written

16 Replies to “Drowning, Differently”

  1. amydwestphal says:

    I think creating rituals is a good thing. If you think about it, everything we know is a construct. Time is relative, society is a construct. We search for meaning in everything, and finding it gives us purpose.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That makes sense – kinda


    • I’ll need to think that over.

      Liked by 1 person

      • amydwestphal says:

        Lol. Diving into some existentialism. Being weird little me I just think that creative types have an innate desire to find purpose and meaning.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Always let your weird shine especially here on R.O.E. It makes me feel not so alone. I’ve never sat with my weird because I thought it was “bad” and now as I sit with it it helps to not feel so abandoned. In fact, I’ve rarely sat my entire life. I’m a Sag and a Horse Chinese sign so…Imma runner. It’s natural for me whereas all this sitt’n shit is new but…it isn’t “bad”, just new. Thank you for being you.

          Liked by 1 person

          • amydwestphal says:

            Thanks. I’m lucky to have grown up in a liberal hippy town in northern ca. We embrace weird here. But I struggled pretending to be more extroverted than I was for a long time, once I let that go I was good. I’m a Virgo. A busy bee who roams in my own head. Learn to find silence in the crowded room. 😀

            Liked by 1 person

            • Ummm, complete opposite here. The judgemental Bible belt where everyone us in everyone’s business trying disguise their own demons. Ugh!! Silence? What’s that? Lol.
              I’m trying each day. Maybe I was born in the wrong city?!?!

              Liked by 1 person

              • amydwestphal says:

                That must have been very difficult. The only downside for me was being allowed too much freedom. Wish I had more guidance and discipline. But I came out alright.lol. Finding silence? You gotta practice. I’m an introvert working in a daycare with 14 kids. You learn my friend.

                Liked by 1 person

  2. Barb says:

    Be gentle with yourself ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I need to learn more about the moon & how it affects us, especially women. I’ve always been interested but too lazy to do the research. Lol.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have certain rituals I follow daily, only because my OCD won’t let me slide. If I ignore just one, I’m totally lost.
    Heck, if I could go outside with my blanket and watch the moon, I most certainly would… But, NJ is always so damn overcast. We miss most of the “Named” moons. Like the recent one, The Strawberry moon. I was so ticked because it rained the entire week.
    Be well, Sweetie! 💗

    Liked by 1 person

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