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I Chose Life

Today I was on the verge.

The verge of suicide.

I wrote my note.

I looked for the gun –

It wasn’t there.

Luck?

I’ll never know.

It was the calmest I’ve been in a while and even I commented such, out loud.

My guardians, I called upon.

One by name.

A decision was made

No bother to reach out.

Attention is all that would stand to gain.

I sent my I Love You’s to the four that matter.

None of this fuck’n matters

Replays over and over in my head.

The realization that I’ve played a role, one assigned to me, is a harsh reality.

Why wouldn’t they give me a glamorous one?

There is no time for blame.

Ironically, those who ask

What’s wrong

are the ones that aren’t ready to see their part in your shame.

Expectations to be a no-body carries a weight.

One that I must shake,

For my life is at stake.


12 Replies to “I Chose Life”

  1. Glad you’re here, Candace.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m glad you chose life! Sending you healing vibes 🧡

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Barb says:

    I’m glad you decided to stay. 🌻❤️🌷

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Meg says:

    The world needs you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Kerry says:

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Candice says:

    Sending good thoughts your way. 💕

    Liked by 1 person

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